This is Bats, Man!!

Yesterday, just to avoid the heat and because we wanted to do something together, Jim, my husband and I decided to take in a movie. The latest movie out that is very popular is the Batman movie starring the late Heath Ledger (who we kept calling Keith Legend). Yes, we are lamer than we look!

I was looking forward to one of those meaningful films where you would see a few subplots, albeit some violent ones where people got beat up severely or killed in some disgusting manner. However, I wasn’t ready for the full thing.

What I saw was a series of car crashes interspersed with the Joker (who I loved) killing people in some sadistic manner. Well, a lot of the people he tormented were also bad guys, so you could say they got what they deserved. But there is a problem with all this excitement. It totally turns me off. It is so hard for me to find a movie that I like, let alone that has a plot I can understand and characters that I can follow. As it was, there were lots of characters, but only two female characters that I could discern, and they were both in need of rescuing. I think that the movie sucked, because all the noisy car crashes just got in the way of the story. I did like when Batman flew with those big wings of his down off the roofs of buildings to whatever bad guy he was after. And I did like all the electronic gadgets he used to find bad guys. In fact, the wall of monitors in the Bat Cave or whatever the place was where he met with Morgan Freeman, reminded me of work – Nooooooo! And all the time we spend looking at our monitors to find out the problems. I especially liked when the monitors shut off, one bank at a time. There! Even Batman has network problems!

We recently saw another movie. It was called “10,000 BC.” Don’t see this one, either, if you value your sense of flow and development in a story. First of all, like in the Dark Knight which was the aforementioned film, as soon as a crucial part of the story occurred, the narrator’s voice would suddenly be overpowered by music. Stupid music that you had to strain to hear the gist of the story through. So, what happened, I never figured out what was going on. In addition, the characters, who were these dirty, unkempt (assuming they didn’t have showers or toothpaste) men and women, spoke with some kind of an accent. Now, come on…if you’re portraying a culture and didn’t know the language in the first place, don’t give them some sort of Italian or Asian accent. Give them plain English to use so they could be that much more understood.

And the animals! My goal is to avoid the sight of animals going down or being injured or killed. Who needs that! The saber-toothed tiger, Smilodon, was cute, though. But come on again! It gave a somewhat serious, adult relationship story a flavor of Walt Disney. I thought the Meerkats from Lion King were going to come out of the rocks next.

You may think from this that I hate cinema. No. I would just do things differently. I would make the characters act, I would make them hearable and speaking plain English. I would not have dinosaurs mixed in with mammals and Geico salesmen. And I’d of course win an Academy Award for all my efforts!!!!!

 

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