So, to begin March in the tradition of coming in like a lion. How about a-lyin’? Here is an idea.
Since Dad passed on, a lot of what he said rumbles about in my head, in that part of the consciousness that rings up pieces of song lyrics whenever I hear or get an idea. For instance, if it’s raining out, an imaginary umbrella appears and the song “Singing In The Rain” suddenly echoes in back of my ears. Or the doorbell rings and “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead” suddenly resounds silently. A contradiction…sorry.
So, by the same token, if I’m doing something during my day, and it’s yet early, I will suddenly remind myself with an unbidden piece of advice or accolade given by Dad.
For instance, I can pick from this list:
- He (she)(they) are/is (an) idiot
- You moron
- You’re making a mountain out of a molehill (hence my tag)
- What are you an idiot?
- You’re too tense…You have two-tenths of a gnat’s brain
- You look like a raccoon (useful when a young girl tries makeup for the first time)
- …and many more
In Dad’s defense, he considered himself witty. He spoke freely in the company of his diminishing circle of friends and slowly receding family contacts. He had no idea how to treat adolescent girls, let alone his own child. Because he was clueless, he had no choice but to make everyone around him feel less clued than him.
In that way, he was a successful father. Young children have no reference points and no male role models except their parents. Not respecting that responsibility is a failure of faith on the part of a parent.
Forgiven, of course. No longer able to bother, annoy, hurt or criticize? Not really. the voices might echo forever. It is up to the hearer to climb up to smoother ground, and avoid the crevices that remind and repel.