Dear Santa, here’s my Revenge

Hi, it’s me again. I know I’ve been bad a lot of the time. Like plotting vendettas over people who don’t even know they annoyed me. Or stores that give up using reusable bags in favor of their own plastic crap. Or people who adopt animals only to find out they have an allergy. Really.

I suppose I have an inability to be patient with things that don’t go my way. But that’s because I’m only human. My soul feels like like the cavernous hole where the stuffing goes into a dead burned turkey carcass, my dark side emerges yearly during the holidays.

But I’m all into it this year. After diligence yearly, yearly diligence about gifting any of my relatives who are still under 18, they have exceeded that limit, but are still on my mind. I show up, again and again, prepared to be generous, to show that I thought of that person. And go home disappointed. Not even a card.

I get some apologies. They are precious to hear. I have no money. I have no job. I have no car. I have no right mind. So who is left out in the cold. So I plot vendettas.

But this year, I’m putting up my tree, a small piece of a much larger fake fir. I’m decorating it with my lovely ornaments, collected over many years and from many places. I’m placing gifts under it. Gifts to my cat, my dog, my husband, myself. Yes, to myself. I’m buying and wrapping gifts that I will open on Christmas Day, happily and with much anticipation. New toys like software or camera accessories. And my gift to all will be a small donation in their name to my favorite rescue organization.

So goes my holiday. As for you, Santa, be aware. There my be something for you as well. A wish for a safe trip, good weather and many long years with Mrs. Claus and the reindeer, and the little elves who you keep in that little shed with barely any heat all winter. Long wishes for a long long winter and a better spring to come.

Merry Merry Ho Ho Ho


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