Christmas Passed – Decs Deferred

This is the year we were caught by surprise.

There were a few good reasons why our house seemed a poor uninspired effort amidst the joy and celebration visible all around us. We witnessed our neighbors welcoming and hosting a blockful of cars and SUV’s. Although our own family was outside of this arena, it still felt strange to come home and have to navigate a darkened driveway without all those garish eyesores blocking the way.

One of the reasons we forewent all of that was that when the time came, there was a daunting situation. How does an older physically challenged person climb a ladder, get those lights in perfect alignment and take hours doing it. Then, the decorations themselves were old. Old, elder lights that were crumbling with oxidation just like our old bones. Older Christmas village that may have been magical beyond when a small child, looked like a group of old paper covered in sparkles which were quickly falling off. Sad.

Then there was the tree itself. It isn’t a tree; it’s the top part of an artificial tree that was also very old, and long gone and forgotten. The needles are out of proportion to the tree, making it impossible to hang trinkets. This year my patience was lost. The tree sits on the dining room table, making it impossible to use the table in the event of a rare, rare, rare, visit by friend or family.

Hence the desire and the drive to make it up. Yule season, thee is not forgotten nor forlorn. No longer will I ignore, and deny myself the magic and anticipation of the return of the light to the earth.

Next year will be hard, yes, with new involvement in environmental and social pushbacks. Despite not speculating and guessing, my life will be just as difficult as anyone else’s. But I’m up to it.

Putting my needs before anything else, downsizing does not mean ignoring. A modified, sale priced lighting display and new tree that actually looks festive, is a goal. So I made sure of this.

Several shopping trips later, I’ve become the proud owner of a plan that will startle and surprise. I will walk the grounds, splying wires and tiny lights. I will attach, hang, tape and smear sparkles and color over all the surfaces out there. And after the feast of the epiphany on January 6, 2018, I will do the entire act in reverse.

Such is life. Holding breath until it is time to exhale simply causes one to understand the importance and peace of the wait. Seasonal decorations may be held absent now, but will brighten our eyes and hearts in years to come.

Dear Santa, here’s my Revenge

Hi, it’s me again. I know I’ve been bad a lot of the time. Like plotting vendettas over people who don’t even know they annoyed me. Or stores that give up using reusable bags in favor of their own plastic crap. Or people who adopt animals only to find out they have an allergy. Really.

I suppose I have an inability to be patient with things that don’t go my way. But that’s because I’m only human. My soul feels like like the cavernous hole where the stuffing goes into a dead burned turkey carcass, my dark side emerges yearly during the holidays.

But I’m all into it this year. After diligence yearly, yearly diligence about gifting any of my relatives who are still under 18, they have exceeded that limit, but are still on my mind. I show up, again and again, prepared to be generous, to show that I thought of that person. And go home disappointed. Not even a card.

I get some apologies. They are precious to hear. I have no money. I have no job. I have no car. I have no right mind. So who is left out in the cold. So I plot vendettas.

But this year, I’m putting up my tree, a small piece of a much larger fake fir. I’m decorating it with my lovely ornaments, collected over many years and from many places. I’m placing gifts under it. Gifts to my cat, my dog, my husband, myself. Yes, to myself. I’m buying and wrapping gifts that I will open on Christmas Day, happily and with much anticipation. New toys like software or camera accessories. And my gift to all will be a small donation in their name to my favorite rescue organization.

So goes my holiday. As for you, Santa, be aware. There my be something for you as well. A wish for a safe trip, good weather and many long years with Mrs. Claus and the reindeer, and the little elves who you keep in that little shed with barely any heat all winter. Long wishes for a long long winter and a better spring to come.

Merry Merry Ho Ho Ho

If it smells like…to the tune of.

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To the tune of Deck the Halls:

Deck the halls with cru-el excess

Falalalalalalalala

Tis the season to passive aggress

falalalalalalal-la

Don we now our worst atti-tude

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Don’t expect a reasonable outcome

flalalalalalalalalalalfjfllalal

Don’t forget our best memor-ies

flalalalalalalalflflalalLALALA

Make sure no one forgets your mala-dies

flalaljfjfhkdkdkkdaskdjflitdkdkd

Keep the mean frown on your face

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that will mean you’re head of the race

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Yes, folks. Make up your own holiday tradition. X-mas, Holidaze, it’s all good. Nobody wins on Christmas Day. Pack up your gifts, your food, and warm gloves. Leave the vodka in the sled; no one needs it tonight.

Just hope that you survive tales of childhood bullying and embarrassment. Because you need to be reminded, on this humblest of nights, that you too are prone to idiocy and not special.

The baby Jesus will magically appear on everyone’s lawns, and the blow-up decorations will inflate one last time. Yet I will be the one noticing the one light bulb that has…blown!